everybody shut up woo
everyone listen up
hey hey hey
hey hey hey uh woo
hey hey hey woo
if you can’t write in the proper way woo
if you don’t know how to conjugate woo
hey maybe you flunked that class hey hey hey
and maybe now you find hey hey hey
that people mock you online hey hey hey
everybody wise up
okay now here’s the deal
i’ll try to educate ya woo ow
gonna familiarize
you with the nomenclature woo meow
you’ll learn the definitions hey hey hey
of nouns and prepositions hey hey hey
literacy’s your mission hey hey hey
pre
and that’s why i think it’s a good time woo
to learn some grammar what
now did i stammer
work on that grammar woo
you should know when
it’s less or it’s fewer woo oh yeah
like people who were all right
never raised in a sewer
i hate these word crimes
like i could care less hey hey hey
that means you do care whoa
at least a little
don’t be a moron hey hey
you’d better slow down
and use the right pronoun hey hey
show the world you’re no clown
everybody wise up
say you’ve got an it
followed by apostrophe s woo
now what does that mean
you would not use it’s in this case woo
as a possessive no no no
it’s a contraction yeah yeah yeah
what’s a contraction
well it’s the shortening of a word or a group of words
by omission of a sound or letter woo
pre
okay now here are some notes
syntax you’re always mangling woo
no x in espresso
your participle’s danglin’ uhhuh
but i don’t want your drama hey hey hey uhhuh
if you really wanna hey hey hey uhhuh
leave out that oxford comma hey hey hey uhhuh
just keep in mind that
be see are you
are words not letters woo
get it together hey hey
use your spell checker
you should never
write words using numbers woo hey hey
unless you’re seven yeahay
or your name is prince
everybody wise up
i hate these word crimes i hate them crimes
you really need a woo i hate them crimes
fulltime proofreader i mean those crimes
you dumb mouthbreather woo
well you should hire i’ll hire
some cunning linguist woo
to help you distinguish
what is proper english
everybody wise up
one thing i ask of you okay
time to learn your homophones is past due woo
learn to diagram a sentence too
always say to whom don’t ever say to who woo
and listen up when i tell you this
i hope you never use quotation marks for emphasis woo
you finished second grade i hope you can tell
if you’re doing good or doing well woo
you better figure out the difference
irony is not coincidence woo
and i thought that you’d gotten it through your skull
about what’s figurative and what’s literal woo
oh but just now just now you said you said
you literally couldn’t get out of bed woo what
that really makes me want to literally
smack a crowbar upside your stupid head
pre
i read your email yeah yeah
it’s quite apparent woo
your grammar’s errant
you’re incoherent woo
saw your blog post hey hey
it’s really fantastic oh woah
that was sarcastic oh psych
’cause you write like a spastic woo
i hate these word crimes everybody wise up
your prose is dopey woo hey
think you should only woah woah
write in emoji woo
oh you’re a lost cause hey hey hey
go back to preschool woo
get out of the gene pool hey hey hey
try your best to not drool woo
never mind i give up woo
really now i give up woo
hey hey hey
hey hey hey
go away
Artist: Weird Al Yankovic
Year: 2014
Decade: 10s
Language: en
Word Count: 387