well i guess it was back in ‘6
when eatin’ my cookin’ got the better of me
so i asked this little girl i was goin’ with to be my wife
well she said she would so i said i do
but i’da said i wouldn’t if i’da just knew
how sayin’ i do was gonna screw up all of my life
well the first few years weren’t all that bad
i’ll never forget the good times we had
’cause i’m reminded every month
when i send her the child support
well it wasn’t too long ’til the lust all died
and i’ll admit i wasn’t too surprised
the day i come home and found my suitcase sittin’ out on the porch
well i tried to get in she changed the lock
then i found this note taped on the mailbox that said
goodbye turkey my attorney will be in touch mhm
so i decided right then and there
i was gonna do what’s right give ‘er her fair share
but brother i didn’t know her share was gonna be that much
she got the goldmine she got the goldmine
i got the shaft i got the shaft
they split it right down the middle
and then they give her the better half
well it all sounds sorta funny
but it hurts too much to laugh
she got the goldmine i got the shaft
now listen you ain’t heard nothin’ yet
why they give her the color television set
then they give her the house
the kids and both of the cars
see
well then they start talkin’ about child support
alimony and the costs to the court
didn’t take me long to figure out how far in the toilet i was
i’m tellin’ ya they have made a mistake
’cause it adds up to more than this cowboy makes
besides everything i ever had worth takin’ they’ve already took
while she’s livin’ like a queen on alimony
i’m workin’ two shifts eatin’ baloney
askin’ myself why didn’t you just learn how to cook
they give her the goldmine she got the goldmine
they give me the shaft i got the shaft
they said they’re splittin’ it all down the middle
but she got the better half
well it all sounds mighty funny
but it hurts too much to laugh
she got the goldmine i got the shaft
interlude
well she got the goldmine she got the goldmine
i got the shaft i got the shaft
they split it all down the middle
and then they give her the better half
well i guess it all sounds funny oohoohooh hahaha
but it hurts too much to laugh
she got the goldmine i got the shaft
heh heh they ain’t kidding i got the shaft ooh
but i don’t have to worry about totin’ a billfold anymore ooh
ha ha ha ha ha ha
i let my wife tote it i’m gonna be carryin’ food stamps ooh
you get it judge
i’m gonna be indebted ooh
that’s not funny huh
huh
contempt of court ooh
what do you mean i’m
listen judge i’m just kiddin’ ooh
i mean you can’t get blood out of a turnip can ya hahaha
Artist: Jerry Reed
Year: 1982
Decade: 80s
Language: en
Word Count: 276