my king
i want you to know something something that i always admired most about you no matter how violent the storm no matter how high the waves no matter how dark the night you never let the world get inside of your boat you kept living when everyone else was sinking and this whole life never got a droplet toward pulling you down to the ocean floor
admittedly this last bottle has room enough for the last of my heart because i drank the last of it myself hated it by the way seems my father could have picked a vice that tasted better than rubbing alcohol but hey he gave me his last flask when he came downstairs to say that he wanted things to have been different and i believed him
he said he needed to go down with the ship but he wished that i didn’t and i believed him
listen the want to die is no longer a foreign thought in my mind a lot of people want to
and i could have died without leaving a note behind a lot of people do
he started slurring about a memory that he must have caught in the musty air like a dust particle stuck to the glaze over his eyes when you were six years old i stood inside our home at a windowsill and watched you walk back from that boy’s house down the street i was sick and went back to bed before i thought you saw me and when i heard you call out daddy i pretended to be asleep i just didn’t have the energy to get up and keep you from believing in the ghosts that you’ve seen ever since
he finally fixed his gaze afraid and said honey they’ve been haunting me but i hope you don’t have to see them any longer
i believe him
if i can give you anything let it be that i have not bid my farewell from the ocean but from the moment i waved goodnight after our first victory as bodypainted newlyweds in a culdesac colony looking forward to morning when our parents would let us sail through the quiet neighborhood streets and the dawn would bring us back together again we were cowboys or we were indians or we were pilgrims and none of us ever cared that cowboys didn’t come here from england we were just making our pilgrimage toward the sun searching for freedom and rewriting history for everyone but mostly us
baby i’m still playing our game i’m just sailing for the new world alone this time
i wish i could come back to tell you what i find but life has never consulted me before making all of these big decisions and i stand helpless and hopeless unless the beauty you see in the mystery really points to something
i wish we could explore this together
let me tell you to die will be an awfully big adventure but don’t get lost boy i want to talk to one another about it someday
it’s time to say goodbye such a definite word an infinite word an intimate word but it needs to be heard so that you don’t have to wonder why the bottles stopped coming
you need closure to move on
you can’t sink with me
you’ll get this after i’m gone
and i hope that you can use our tree house to love someone else once the tide has finally set you free but don’t tell her who you built it for make her believe that she’s the reason you put all those hours into protecting the purity of that place i think that eventually you’ll believe it too i truly do not know whether time heals all wounds it sounds like wishful thinking but i do know that you can’t stop living just because someone else has
my love don’t sink don’t sink
your queen
Artist: The New Colony Six
Year: 1969
Decade: 60s
Language: en
Word Count: 319